What’s that I saw outside my window pane this morning? Why, could it be SNOW? In December? In Kentucky? An event this momentous could only signal one of two things — either the coming apocalypse, or I should just put up my Christmas tree, for pete’s sake.

I guess I’ll go with #2 — but I intend to be prepared for #1 just in case.

So this afternoon my daughter, Claire, like any self-respecting 14- (soon to be 15)-year-old, was, as always, in the presence of one or more of her BFFs. Muhahaha, I say. More free labor for the festivities. So in honor of The First Snowfall of the Winter, I employed these two minions for the production and presentation of some tree-trimming worthy holiday oatmeal cookies.

But oatmeal, much as I love the stuff, by itself is rather tame. I consulted the cabinet. I found chocolate chips, butterscotch morsels and, be still my heart, Heath toffee chips.

I’m also a shade fanatic on the subject of flour, and frequently construct Belgian waffles and yeast breads in my bread machine with oat flour. So, I’ve got the stuff on hand. If you decide to make these, you can omit the oat flour and go solely with all-white wheat flour, but nobody’s gonna tell you that you just made a giant plate of awesome.

OK, so nobody told me that either, but when the first cookie sheet came out of the oven, I had never seen such open hungry mouths this side of a robin’s nest. I had the bad judgment to go start a load of laundry while they were cooling on the rack and came back to exactly no more cookies, apart from those still baking in the oven.

These I guarded with a flamethrower.Back — BACK I SAY! Keep your distance, family and friends, these cookies are for AFTER DINNER.

We rotated Free Help when Claire’s friend Aren left shortly before dinner (with a ziplock baggie with some cookie booty inside) and Christopher’s friend Nathan arrived. After dinner we did indeed consume said cookies and don’t they look luscious?

Shut up. I only ate one. OK, more than one. I didn’t eat three (at one time). I made them for the family. I’m good like that.

Right now, after dinner, there are about four or five of the beauties left. They’ll most likely be devoured sometime in the next couple of hours, while we’re putting up the tree(s) [I have two]. That’s a harrowing tale in itself; the main tree is 12 feet tall and takes around four hours to assemble.

Fortunately, as I said, I have minions, and as I write Christopher and Nathan are lugging the boxes containing the tree, ornaments, lights and other Christmas paraphernalia from the attic downstairs. Ah. I love minions.

Cue up the Christmas music. Put the treadmill on High Alert. I’m ready to start the holiday.

~ ~ ~

Wanna make the cookies? Here’s the recipe.

A Giant Plate of Awesome Oatmeal Cookies

3/4 cup margarine or butter
1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup oat flour
1 tablespoon wheat germ
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups rolled oats
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup toffee chips
1/4 cup butterscotch morsels

In a mixing bowl beat margarine or butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add the all-purpose flour, the brown sugar, sugar, egg, baking powder, vanilla, and baking soda. Beat till thoroughly combined. Beat in oat flour and wheat germ. Stir in oats. Stir in candy pieces.

Drop by rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake in a 375-degree oven 12 to 15 minutes or till edges are golden. Cool cookies on a wire rack. Makes about 48.